#!/usr/local/bin/clisp -ansi -q -Kfull -E iso-8859-1 ;; -*- mode: lisp -*- (setf *random-state* (make-random-state t)) (defparameter *data* #( "You know you've been hacking too long when you suddenly realize that \"Timberland - The Boot Company\" does NOT repair the computers which do not want to boot." "You know you've been hacking too long when you see an annoying ad on TV for a product priced at 139.99 and you wonder if you can stop this TV SPAM, tracking down the perpetrators by doing a 'whois 139.99.0.0\" and seeing who owns that network block." "You know you've been hacking too long when you made it just in time to the bus (running) 'cos you were relying on the fact that it's almost always late, except of course his time, and you start thinking about how far away you should rig a sensor somewhere up the road to have your scheduler email you \"the bus is here\" just-in-time for you to leave...." "You know you've been hacking too long when you can't remember how to format a video tape..." "You know you've been hacking too long when it takes you several tries to set your alarm clock because you expect it to count in hex (or maybe octal)." "You know you've been hacking too long when you actually consider building an alarm clock that uses hex." "You know you've been hacking too long when you actually build an alarm clock that uses hex." "You know you've been hacking too long when on an ethnic studies survey, a programming language beats out your native natural language for language spoken most frequently at home." "You know you've been hacking too long when you consider attaching a punch reader to one of your home machines just for old times' sake." "You know you've been hacking too long when it already has a punch reader attached...as an original part." "You know you've been hacking too long when you name your computers after your relatives." "You know you've been hacking too long when you name your relatives after your computers." "You know you've been hacking too long when conversations with your friends are stack-based, with actual verbal cues of \"push\", \"pop\", \"interrupt\", and \"interrupt return\" being commonly used." "You know you've been hacking too long when you remember anything involving computers before Bill \"the Dark Lord\" Gates was involved." "You know you've been hacking too long when you design new architectures and implement them as virtual machines frequently and just for fun (am I the only one who does this?)." "You know you've been hacking too long when you talk to your computers more frequently than you talk to your human companions." "You know you've been hacking too long when you don't see what is unusual about that previous entry (you talk to your computers more frequently than you talk to your human companions)." "You know you've been hacking too long when you post a YKYBHTLW message with more than three entries." "You know you've been hacking too long when you see the subject line: \"For Sale: Alfa 164 $18000\" in a forsale group, and think \"at least he should know how to spell ALPHA when asking for such a ridiculous price\". And then find out that \"Alfa\" is indeed spelled completely right." "You know you've been hacking too long when you get more root passwords than dates." "You know you've been hacking too long when you're more excited about getting root passwords than dates." "You know you've been hacking too long when you read a novel and, at the bottom of the page, see the number \"29\" and think \"hmmm --- more than 1/4 of the book already gone. Can't be! Less must have made a mistake calculating the percentage\"." "You know you've been hacking too long when you spend half an hour trying to find a group of files in your current project that total _exactly_ one million bytes. Or you do it, but then someone points out that you are 48576 bytes over and you don't know what they are talking about..." "You know you've been hacking too long when \"By the time I get to Phoenix,\" comes on the radio, and your reaction is, \"Who is still running PHOENIX?" "You Know You've Been Hacking Too Long With The Wrong People When... Today at work I needed to edit a line of code, and rather than delete or overwrite the ';' at the end and type another one when I finished, I hit the insert key instead. I then wondered (from a purely metaphysical sense) whether the ';' I ended with could be considered the same one I started with or not. I shared my thoughts with my cow orkers: one just snorted and went back to work, while the other used the oppertunity to launch into a discussion involving faster-than-light travel through alternate dimensions. " "You haven't been hacking very long when you are still excited about getting root passwords. You may have been hacking a little longer when you *don't* want to get the root password, because you want to be safe from being held responsible for the system administrator's mistakes." "You haven't been hacking very long when you see a cigarette machine in a Pub which has the ammount of time it has been switched on for, and you think '17 hours 22 minutes, that's not a bad uptime for a cigarette machine'." "You haven't been hacking very long when you see a sign that says \"Disabled Toilet\", and wonder which bits you have to set to re-enable it." "You haven't been hacking very long when you have a friend called \"Dot Atkins\" and want to spell her name .@kins." "You know you've been hacking too long when you tell people at work that you have a 7-year-old Sun at home, and they correctly parse that as \"workstation\", not \"offspring\"." "You know you've been hacking too long when looking at telephones, your wife says \"I like this one\"; and you answer \"Yes, it has the best form factor\", then have to think to realize why she was staring at you..." )) (format t "~72<~A~>~%" (aref *data* (random (length *data*))))